meirwen_1988

Friends. Bless them. And thank the heavens for them.
theboomboom called. Then after we hung up she called Alheidis, who drove the 30 miles from Norwich and held me until Duchezz got home. Then she took my girl home with her, to the kindness of a vet who understands that more is needed than handing them a check and getting a paper box in return.
hundmathr called from his sickbed. I couldn't talk long, but his voice was a hand reaching out in the darkness.
dicea spoke words of love, that helped me face the first long night without my puppy beside me, snuffling as she slept--alone in the too wide bed, empty of the strong freckled arms that used to hold me.

And so, here I am. The night did not take me. This will not break me. But I am cracked, and ragged, and do not recognize myself anymore.

I am at the point where I fear the best I can hope for is that like that little isle in the Atlantic, after violence, I will be "All changed, changed utterly: A terrible beauty is born."

So, I'm awake--it being almost 1 in the afternoon, 'bout time! Now, if it weren't for the fact that I've been up since 6 AM. Seriously--taught two fairly energetic classes, but still don't feel really awake. WTF.

Weekend was lovely. Saturday I got my nails done, then took Penelope for a walk on the 840 walk/bike trail, just her and her Momma. What a happy girl! Someone with a golden retriever asked me how old she was. When I said "somewhere around 13" they were stunned. They thought she was 3 or 4. She was prancy and happy. Mind you, she could barely make the stairs the next day, but she loved getting out and smelling things and just having time with only us two, so it was worth it. That evening we watched The Shooter with Mark Wahlberg and Danny Glover (dir. Antoine Fuqua). I hate the fact that Marky-Mark can genuinely act.

I pried Rowan out of the house on Sunday and we went to Fly Creek Cider Mill (http://www.flycreekcidermill.com/) and The Farmer's Museum in Cooperstown (http://www.farmersmuseum.org/). We are soooo going back to both. Ro wants a membership to the Museum "...even if I never go again." Yippee--easy Christmas present. Better than some tchotzke collecting dust on a shelf. As for the Cider Mill--well, all I can say is the store has deliciousness beyond belief, and feeding the ducks and turkeys was waay cool. I was not as enchanted by the antique engines as the Duchezz, but the geese and ducks more than made up for it.

Farmer's Museum has changed a lot since I was there--some for the better, some not. It made me want to go back to the living history museum we visited in Virginia with Jack and Susan. They had four setups, each one modeling the homestead of one of the four large immigrant groups that settled the Shenandoah Valley, everything from house to garden, including some heirloom breeds of livestock (http://www.frontier.virginia.gov/). It was amazing. At the Farmer's Museum we got to the farmstead exhibit just as they were eating lunch, so that was pretty neat. Made us really hungry though. They can't feed patrons, so we just got to look at this huge roast beef, yummy bread, and big bowl of freshly churned butter just sitting there. Sigh.

Monday was more house painting, and an early (for us) dinner before Ro went to MickeyD's. I made food that was bad for us, but, well, farewell to summer and all that. It's not like I make potato salad every week.

Thursday marks the beginning of my 2007 obsession season, er, that should be "football season." Ooops. My bad. Yup, 22 men beating the crap out of each other wearing armor. Yippee!