I wonder why

[meirwen_1988]

As I was driving in to work this morning I found myself thinking about television. Most specifically, probably because tonight is the six month anniversary of becoming one, I was thinking about widows. More specifically, I was thinking about widowers, because there seem to be an awful lot of them on TV at the moment.

Really--just take one network--CBS. On Tuesday at 8 you have NCIS where the lead is a 50ish, 4 times married, 3 times divorced widower (and the constant implication is that the divorces are what happened because he lost the love of his life). Then, at 9 on Tuesday, you have The Mentalist ("most popular new show"). Here the 30ish "hero" is also a widower, having lost his wife to a serial killer. Then you have Eleventh Hour on Thursdays at 10, where Rupert Sewell's intense, 40ish Dr. Jacob Hood is a widower who lost his wife to cancer. Even Jack Bauer (on FOX) in 24 is a widower, as got thrown in his face just last week.

Why are widower's so appealing on television? Do we blame Ben Cartwright? Did he set the model for the charismatic sexy widower (well, that, and that by the end of the series Adam, Hoss, and Li'l Joe were all widowers, too)? Lucas McCain from The Rifleman was another early model. Is it that by being defined as widowers these hunks hold out a tantalizing "marryin'-kind" aura with the cache of fidelity? Are they simultaneously figures women can want (as we must all want a character for it to be successful in the medium) and men want to be? Certainly there are more of them than there used to be. Is it because so many middleclass widowers were created in Oklahoma City and New York, and are being created (though without much attention, because that would be bad PR) in Iraq and Afghanistan?

And, just for the record, why do the widowers get to be hot and sexy and date? When was the last time you saw a widow on TV being anything other than pathetically noble (that's a description of the characterization usually seen on TV, not a comment about real widows) as a single parent struggling to make ends meet in a guest starring or supporting character-soon-departed way (thinking of Harm's brief love interest on JAG, among others)?

So, anyway, that's what I was wondering about on my way into work.

Just a thinky-thought.

Comments

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

Very few hot widows in the media. Carol Brady. The mom in "Yours, Mine, and Ours."

[patrikia.livejournal.com]

The lead in Ghostwhisperer. Technically.

(But I agree with the basic premise that the widowers are better represented.)

[meirwen.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Talk about wish-fulfillment. And now you know why I don't watch that show.

[swordandmug.livejournal.com]

Barbara Stanwick in "Big Valley"

[swordandmug.livejournal.com]

Add Lt. Horatio Caine to that list on CBS.

I think that the widower angle is used to create the noble, wholesome character that we should sympathize with because he struggles against lost love without having been at fault for the loss while they simultaneously have the option for always presenting renewed romance in the storyline to keep the viewer interested while simultaneously self-destructing the new relationships to keep that option open without inciting feelings of resentment or distaste in the viewer toward the male character as being a womanizer. Instead, he is tortured by striving to overcome that point.

By comparison, the divorced male is a comedy vehicle. We laugh at his plight because he was failable and lost love for that reason and thus is the butt of the joke. In those storylines, the humor in romancing is renewed through laughter at his inability to hold anything together.

[dagonell.livejournal.com]

What makes you think this is restricted to television? Look at Walt Disney's fairy tales; Beauty and the Beast, Pinocchio, Rumplestilskin, Snow White, etc. The only Disney animated film where you see both a mother and a father is 101 Dalmations!

[baronessekat.livejournal.com]

Lady and the Tramp as well and technically Sleeping Beauty (though the child was raised away from her parents)

[unique_name_123]

I think that is different though - what creates a great deal of dismay that must be resolved for a child? Being without a mother.

[hearne.livejournal.com]

And, just for the record, why do the widowers get to be hot and sexy and date? When was the last time you saw a widow on TV being anything other than pathetically noble (that's a description of the characterization usually seen on TV, not a comment about real widows) as a single parent struggling to make ends meet in a guest starring or supporting character-soon-departed way (thinking of Harm's brief love interest on JAG, among others?


I would imagine it's because of gender role assignment. The Male is *still* perceived as the primary breadwinner throughout society, whether or not it's the actuality of the situation. When the wife is the survivor, she has to adjust to a new role, and in only a few cases is that role an equal one. Writers cheat, they use expected norms.

A widower can be the pure, faithful and noble object of desire, *and* be available while the widow can also be that image, (Mrs Muir..) but also needs to deal with the new role situation.

A competent widow I can think of is Dr. Cameron on House, although her Widow status is almost an afterthought.

[ariannawyn.livejournal.com]

Wasn't Shirley Jones in the Partridge Family a widow?

I think you pretty much hit it with the "marryin' kind" comment, as did swordandmug in his idea about the widower being sympathetic vs. the divorce' being a joke. Widowers, especially ones with children, also evoke the nurturing impulse in women, because clearly he needs the kind of help only a woman can provide to survive. :-)


Also, the numbers are with them. Widows are a dime a dozen, actuarial facts being what they are. Ask anyone who works in a nursing home - single men are prized and cosseted by the ladies because there are so few of them.

And, of course, widows aren't considered as sexy as widowers for the same reason Sean Connery got to be sexy at 70 but... um... so what 70-year-old actresses are there out there? Judy Dench? Maggie Smith? Well, in any case, you don't see them cast as love interests too often.

In any case, I try not to worry about it, myself.

[briony530.livejournal.com]

Judy Dench was a widow in that BBC show, wasn't she? Of course, the love interest stemmed from the fact that they'd met when young and Fate separated them and Brought Them Together Again...

Why widowers are popular...

[diablu.livejournal.com]

Because we're already trained and housebroken?

Re: Why widowers are popular...

[ariannawyn.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO.

I love you, Dio!

[unique_name_123]

As others have noted it is because he can be single while not being a failure at relationships. A divorced man or one who lived in his mother's basement until late might be seen as having issues.

And as far as TV goes, any woman who is over 30 and has had a relationship before is pretty much not valued.

[annaeisenkopf.livejournal.com]

another widower would be Monk

[annaeisenkopf.livejournal.com]

ooh... and Luka from ER before he married Abby. Of course they had a widow for a while too who was good looking and successful...Elizabeth Mark Green's wife.

[briony530.livejournal.com]

Does that really "count" though? Because the story went from singlehood through marriage through widowhood...she already had a well established character beforehand.

[retiredmaj.livejournal.com]

And television accurately portrays how many different types of folks in the world?....;) Just sayin....:)

[briony530.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, the widower can easily obtain Perfect Man Status. He's obviously had successful relationships and therefore is Not Broken. AND top off that ice cream with the chocolate sauce of Justfied Emotional Vulnerability (that becoming attribute so "rare" in the male of the species), the sprinkles of Being Single Through No Fault of His Own (he didn't cheat, leave his socks on the floor OR squeeze the toothpaste from the middle), and the cherry of Self-Sufficiency (he can probably even cook a little and may have to care for his own children...gasp!). Why, he's the Pefect Man Sundae.

Whereas a widow...she's just another single woman. Either she's caring for kids or looking for a man, or both, or if she is a strong woman with a career, her widowness (like someone mentioned about the House character above) is secondary because she's basically a sexless mutant.

Isn't it great that the sexes are finally equal and feminism has done its job? /sarcasm>

I'm not usually this feminist...there must be a neve there I wasn't aware of.